“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014.”

Lillia: It seems like everything is happening all at once this week! Today you are attempting to earn your “brown belt” in Karate Math (a program used by the school to help kids learn their multiplication & division facts). Regardless of the outcome, I just want you to know how proud I am of how far you’ve progressed since you went back to school in October. You didn’t know any multiplication or division six months ago, and now you know pretty much all the facts — and you learned them all on your own! On top of that huge achievement you also have your big dance performance this weekend. Yesterday when I dropped you off for rehearsal you were happy and cheerful, and didn’t even need (want?) me to come in with you. I cannot believe how much you have matured this year; it can be a little overwhelming at times, but I feel so lucky to be your mother and that I get the chance to watch you change & grow.

Zane: This week you have been helping me get our raised beds ready for planting. On Tuesday we got a delivery of loam to fill the beds and you were SO excited because the delivery man let YOU push the button that raises the truck bed and dumps the dirt! I think you would be perfectly content to be a dirt delivery man someday (though I was told that it loses its thrill after the first couple of days). We also got a delivery of sand for your sandbox, which attracted a whole flock of neighborhood kids. You were thrilled to have so many little people to play with you and you really enjoyed showing off all of your trucks.

“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014.”

Lillia: Well, it happened. Last night you came to me and said, “Can you promise me that you don’t bring all of my Christmas presents?” Sorry, kiddo. I played along for almost 11 years, but I won’t make a promise that is a blatant lie. It all started when you were reading my blog, and for some reason you were reading all of the entries — even back to 2011! I happened to make a post way back then about finding and purchasing your play kitchen, which we told you was from “Santa.” Certainly there were times in your life when you questioned whether or not Santa was real, but we were always able to keep the fire burning without telling an outright lie. For some reason that was an important distinction for me. You were sad to learn the truth, and there were some tears, but you said you were happy to have had the experience and you want Zane to keep believing for awhile. So, now you’ve been “initiated.” Knowledge is a tricky thing: on one side of the coin there is truth and power, and on the other there is sadness and disappointment. From here on out there are going to be many things that you learn about the world and the people in it that you really wish you could unlearn. But, there is no forgetting, and that is part of the human condition.

Zane: This week you have been saying the silliest things! I love that your language skills have progressed to the point where you can converse about the less concrete matters of life because toddler + abstract concepts = hilarity.
Here’s an example:
Me: Zane, look at your legs. They are so cute! I just want to eat them up!
Zane: You can not eat them. They are made of person! They are mettached to me!

“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014.”

Lillia: This week I was feeling sad about a few things, and you were such a great comfort to me. I am so amazed by your empathy and your nurturing spirit. It doesn’t show all the time (you are a kid, after all), but you feel deeply the distress of others and you try your best to alleviate it. You have a lot of wisdom, too, for such a young person. So, thank you, Lillia, for supporting me and for giving me the opportunity to see my trials and tribulations in another light.

Zane: On our walk yesterday you met one of our neighbors who gave you two very cool rocks for your “rockry coweckshun” (rock collection): one was a rounded stone that came from the bank of the Connecticut River (it looked like an egg!); the other was a fire agate that came from his friend’s mine in Arizona. People are very drawn to you, probably because you are adorable, but also because you really enjoy engaging with others. You are the very definition of friendly!

“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014.”

Lillia: This week at school was riddled with drama — mean girls and mean teachers. You are so hard on yourself when you cry at school, but your big heart is one of your best qualities. I know this situation well, as I was once the little girl who cried a lot at school (now I’m the adult who still cries more than most other adults, but I’m okay with it). The good news is that most people are unlikely to remember much of anything about their elementary years, let alone whether or not you happened to cry often. It will get easier to contain as you get older, but you’ll probably always have very strong feelings, and that’s not a bad thing. The world needs compassion and empathy more than it needs anything else.

Zane: This week you got to come with me to the car dealership to have my car inspected. That was a pretty exciting adventure for someone who loves anything that has a motor. We got to see a tow truck really close-up and you were surprised to learn that they weren’t moving a car, but a very big tool box! When you’re a little bigger, I bet your uncle (who works there) will let you come and look around the shop.

“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014.”

Lillia: This week you had a big field trip to our state capital, Concord. You got to meet some politicians and learn about their jobs. You told me that our local representatives only make $200 a year which, you quipped, “Makes their jobs really intense volunteer work!” I think you would make an excellent politician: you are very passionate about your ideas; you love to argue; and you have a very well-developed sense of justice.

Zane: You are getting to be such a big boy! This week I decided that it was finally time to start getting serious about potty training. You’ve been able to go on command for awhile now, but you were having trouble realizing you had to go until it was too late. Yesterday, you stayed dry ALL DAY, including during a short nap in the car! Most of me is so excited for you (and happy not to have to buy so many diapers!), but part of me is also really sad. It’s hard to believe that you’re going to be three years-old in just a few months…you’re really not a baby anymore.