“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2015.”

Lillia: This week you have been working hard on self-improvement. Monday was your first day back at school after the holidays. You got up early, came out to the kitchen and said, “I’m going for a walk to help me feel more alert.” When you came back you informed me that you were not going to use the computer before school because it was too distracting. You’ve been getting yourself ready in the morning without any nagging, and you’ve also been working on your homework diligently every night without my even mentioning it. It seems that the New Year really inspired you to develop some new habits. I am very impressed with your efforts!

Zane: This week we are working on potty training. Oh, the dreaded potty training. The truth is you have been “ready” for quite awhile, but I was not. I was not ready to let go of one of the last things that made you a baby…well, we both know you’re not a baby anymore. You’re a fully-fledged walking, talking person with ideas and opinions of your own. Now is the time, whether I am ready (emotionally) or not. So far you’ve been doing great — there’s no turning back!

“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2014.”

Lillia & Zane: Well, sweet kiddos, we made it to the end of our first 52 week portrait project. I say “we” because, although I was the one snapping the photos, there wouldn’t have been a 52 project without you and I really appreciate your cooperation (or at least toleration). Although I feel a great deal of satisfaction for completing my goal, I also feel incredibly sad because the fact is that a whole year of your lives has passed and I know that I cannot get it back. Lillia will never be ten again; Zane will never be two. There is a lot of lip service paid to enjoying your children while you can, and people always seem to say things like “it goes by so fast.” The truth is that it does go by so fast. Even when you take the time to notice and record the small moments that you share with your children, like I do here on my blog, that doesn’t stop the time from passing. Nothing has ever given me more joy than being a mother, and this is true even when I’m grouchy, nagging, irritated, or frustrated! Both of you bring something different, and equally wonderful, to my life. Despite my desire to keep you right where you are, I know that I have to let this year go to make room for the next one. I feel some slight consolation in knowing that the next twelve months together with you will bring me joy, too. And, I do feel some excitement and curiosity to see what the future holds for both of you. Love is not a big enough word to describe how I feel about you, but it will have to suffice.

If you’d like to look back at all 52 weeks, you can read the posts here or look at the whole album here.