“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2015.”

Lillia: This week was Michaelmas. We had a little celebration at home, but these special days don’t seem to excite or engage you the way they used to. For me, it’s a little sad to see what growing up really takes from us, and I do hope that someday you will get back some of the joy you’ve lost. The melancholic years of young adulthood seem to be worse for you — a person who was born world-weary. You are cynical in the way of an almost-twelve-year-old, and perhaps this level of apathy, distrust, and disdain is normal? I would be very hesitant to jump to any conclusions at this point. I do wish I could remember just a little bit better what it was like to be your age. Perhaps I should have a talk with your grandmother — I’m sure she remembers!

Zane: This week you really enjoyed helping me get ready for the Feast of St. Michael and All Angels. Unfortunately, it was raining this year so we couldn’t go out in the woods together to gather flowers and colored leaves for our table. But, you did help me make all of the food! After dinner we read about St. George and the Dragon, and then you wanted to play knights and dragons with some little wooden figures we have. I love how children re-create their experiences in their play, re-living again and again the moments that made an impression on them.

“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2015.”

Lillia: This week your school was invited to a “district-wide” dance in the neighboring village of Charlestown. Even though you knew there was a chance that none of your friends would be there, you still wanted to go. When you and your dad arrived you were feeling very nervous, and briefly decided that the whole situation was too scary. You were on your way back to the car when you changed your mind. On the second go-round you saw a boy who goes to the Walpole school standing in line, and so you struck up a conversation with him. When you finally came home a few hours later you said that you did have a good time, and that you met a new girl from one of the other schools. I am so impressed with your bravery — I would NEVER have had the courage to go to a dance where I didn’t know anyone. Every day you amaze me, Lillia.

Zane: This week I kept you home from school on Monday because I wanted to spend some time with you. Now that you are at school five days a week, I miss our little adventures. I asked you, “Would you rather go to school or stay home with mama?” You can guess what the response was. So, we spent the whole day together and we did all kinds of fun things — we went apple picking, we walked in the woods, we did some serious garden clean-up, and we played in the sandbox. I had such a good time, and I’m pretty sure you did, too. I know you really love school, but sometimes it’s nice to be home.

“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2015.”

Lillia: This week we took you and your brother to the NH Highland Games at Loon Mountain. We thought you might enjoy seeing the sheepdog trials, since you are such a canine aficionado. Sadly, you really didn’t seem to enjoy much of anything — it was pretty hot, and there was a lot of walking involved — but you did eventually perk up when we rode the gondola to the top of the mountain and explored the glacial caves. You were scared to go in alone, so Daddy crawled around in there with you. Your mood really improved when you ran into some other kids your own age in the caves and had a bit of a chat. I have to remind myself that pretty much everyone is chopped liver these days, except other kids, and that the moods will come and go.

Zane: This week you and your sister stayed with Nanny at our house while Daddy and I were away. You seemed to do okay and didn’t miss us too much, but when I returned I was treated to a bit of a cold shoulder. I thought you might come running, but you just sort of shrugged hello and went on with your business. Except, about an hour later something rather insignificant happened that upset you, and you just absolutely burst into tears. You were pretty clingy for a couple of days after that. Two days is probably the upper limit to how long we can leave you at this point, and I’m glad to be back.

“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2015.”

Lillia: This week your school had an Open House for parents, and you had the opportunity to be the guide for all of the sixth grade parents. You got to bring everyone around the school as they followed your class’s daily schedule in ten-minute sessions. I’m so proud of the big effort you’re putting in to your academic life this year. All of these little activities that you do help you to become a stronger, more self-assured person with skills that you will be able to carry with you for life.

Zane: This week you had a bit of a kerfuffle with another little boy. I think a little bit of the stress of being at school five days a week is finally catching up with you. But, it gave us a chance to talk about how to deal with other kids, especially when they’re not being kind. Of course, asking for a teacher’s help is always a good idea, but I also tried to encourage you to walk away from conflict if you can. Sometimes there won’t be a teacher to help you, and I want you to have the confidence to disengage.

“A portrait of my children once a week, every week, in 2015.”

Lillia: This week you’re back in the dance studio again. You’re taking hip hop and ballet this year, though you’ve expressed some interest in doing some theatre classes at the studio, too. You were a little dismayed because some girls from your class signed up for hip hop for the first time this year, but they ended up in what appeared to be a higher level than you. It turns out that they were placed in the older kids’ class because they were starting out in sixth grade, whereas you are still with slightly younger kids because you’ve been taking lessons for years. In fact, your class is actually more challenging! It’s interesting to watch how you react so strongly to things that never used to bother you. One of life’s hardest lessons is learning not to compare yourself to others. I’m still working on learning that myself.

Zane: This week you haven’t been quite yourself. Of course, as soon as school started you came down with a virus. It wasn’t terrible but it, in combination with your busy new schedule, has left you pretty worn out. Thankfully, my schedule does allow me to have the flexibility to be home with you as needed, and I feel grateful for that. Even though you were under the weather you still had lots of fun at school. Your favorite thing all week was learning how to write your name! Your “E” had a lot more legs than one usually sees, but you seem to have a general idea of how to form the letters that spell ZANE. You’re learning and growing so fast!